You might find this hard to believe: WWE is lying to you about the Curt Hawkins Losing Streak.

I know, it shocked me as well. But after looking at the Pro Wrestling Database’s records, I can tell you that the Prince of Queens’ losing streak sits at one-hundred & fourteen matches, not the one-hundred & fifty-two that WWE wants you to believe. That number includes some battle royal appearances & a ton of tag team matches. I’m being as liberal as I can be with the count here.

His most recent victory in a WWE-sanctioned match was back on November 8, 2016 when he defeated Apollo Crews at a SmackDown Live taping in Glasgow, Scotland.

Hawkins had to have high hopes after that match. He’d been back with WWE a little bit over a month at that point after a successful run in the indies. People were facing the facts. His win-loss record had been mixed, but he’d picked up a win here & there. Beating Crews in a little over a minute was surely a sign he was headed in the right direction.

He wasn’t. Crews defeated Hawkins in five consecutive singles matches afterwards, then was on the winning end of six straight ten-man tag team matches where they were on opposite sides. Hawkins never recovered from that ending to 2016, and spent the entirety of 2017 looking up at the lights. The closest he got to a win involved two straight weeks where Dean Ambrose beat him up before they could start the match. Not even a move to Raw in the Superstar Shakeup helped Hawkins get out of his funk. He had the same number of victories in 2017 that the Cleveland Browns did.

Sometimes guys just fall into these ruts. Barry Horowitz went years between victories. It took Kenta Kobashi over a year before he got his first win as a professional wrestler. The Hardy Boyz got beat like drums for a couple of years before breaking out & becoming one of WWE’s greatest tag teams.

Not to toot my own horn too much, but I’ve been observing professional wrestling almost as long as Curt Hawkins has been alive. I might not have the in-ring expertise that many wrestlers think is necessary to have an opinion, but you won’t find too many people more in tune with the game than me. Here’s some tips I would give Hawkins if he came to me looking for advice on how to further his career.

Positive Mental Attitude

Most losing streaks develop because a wrestler has lost confidence in themselves. You can see it in their eyes. Even if they talk a good game, you can tell that they don’t really believe it. Hawkins occasionally gets promo time and talks about how he’s going to make people into stars. He sounds confident, but when you look into his eyes you know he’s going to lose because he doesn’t believe a word he’s saying. It’s like somebody handed him a script or something.

I myself have had a self-confidence problem for most of my life. Recently, I’ve decided to cast that aside and carry a positive mental attitude. The biggest opponent in my way was myself. My self-doubts were just as big as Braun Strowman or anybody else Hawkins lost to in 2017. I wasn’t going to reach my goals unless I believed I would.

Curt Hawkins isn’t going to win a match unless he believes he will.

Develop A Finishing Move

A lot of wrestlers out there just need one move to call it a night. Randy Orton has the RKO. Brock Lesnar has the F5. I have no idea what Curt Hawkins’ finishing move is. Wikipedia tells me he uses a top rope elbow drop, which hasn’t finished anybody off since Randy Savage was doing it. He also uses something called the Taste of Pain, which apparently is a hangman’s facebuster.

Listen, the only person that’s been tasting pain during Curt Hawkins’ matches is Curt Hawkins himself. He needs to go back to the gym and figure out something that will be devastating enough to put his opponents away.

Make Some Better Friends

One of Hawkins’ problems, I think, is that he’s a bit of a loner. You rarely see him on television with anybody else. He used to be tag team partners with Zack Ryder, then Lance Archer, but Archer’s busy winning championships in New Japan while Ryder’s busy on SmackDown putting Mojo Rawley over. His tag team matches not on television typically involve an eclectic bunch of misfits. Curtis Axel, Dash Wilder, Bo Dallas…it doesn’t seem like there’s a bunch of rhyme or reason to it.

Except…I mean, Axel & Dallas are already riding Miz’s coattails. They don’t have the best win-loss record either, but aligning with Miz has certainly helped their mindset. I would see if I could join the Miztourage as well, and if that doesn’t work out, find somebody else to align with.

Everybody needs a little help from their friends. Or just some friends in general.

Go STREAKING at @WWEShop! pic.twitter.com/HwQbUepzDl

— Brian Myers (@TheCurtHawkins) January 1, 2018

Quit Wrestling Apollo Crews

Four out of Hawkins’ last six defeats have been singles or tag matches involving Crews. I see what Curt’s thinking here. Apollo’s record in matches with people other than Curt Hawkins is abysmal. He’s one of the lowest rated competitors on the Raw roster right now. The thing is, Crews has Hawkins’ number. Whatever Curt’s doing in matches with Titus O’Neil’s charge isn’t working.

It’s like Roger Federer trying to beat Rafael Nadal on clay. Move on to something else.

Become a Cruiserweight

One of the great things about being on the Raw roster is there’s plenty of opportunity. For one thing, there’s three hours to fill every week. It’s much easier to get booked on that show than it can be for SmackDown Live performers. Also, there’s the fact that the Cruiserweight Division gets a couple of matches every week. This is where I see a really good chance for Hawkins to break out.

Curt currently weighs in at 223 lbs. You math majors out there know that means he needs to drop eighteen pounds to qualify for Cruiserweight status. As somebody that dropped sixty pounds in 2017, I know what it takes to change your body & make yourself leaner & meaner. All Hawkins needs to do is change his diet, do plenty of cardio, and in time he’ll be ready for 205 Live. I’d set a goal of getting to 205 by WrestleMania. Six pounds a month is an achievable feat.

Or, he could just do what Goldust did and randomly come down when somebody needs a tag team partner. If Goldust is allowed to wrestle the cruisers, I see no reason why Hawkins can’t.

Hey, it’s a new year. That means it can be time for a new Curt Hawkins. At thirty-two years of age, he still has plenty of time to find himself as a performer & live up to the potential he had both times he signed with WWE. The current WWE Champion & Universal Champion are both forty years old. Maybe in eight years, Curt Hawkins will be rolling into the Road to WrestleMania with one of those championships around his waist. Stranger things have happened.

Keep in mind that I could have written a column just like this about Jinder Mahal at this time in 2017. Now he’s the all-time GOAT!