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Cook’s Top 5: Suspects in John E. Bravo’s Shooting

Love it or hate it, Impact Wrestling is making headlines! Broken Universe, Undead Realm, Hacker Magic, and now a Murder Mystery! Who shot Bravo?

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Love it or hate it, Impact Wrestling is making headlines! Broken Universe, Undead Realm, Hacker Magic, and now a Murder Mystery! Who shot Bravo?

A little birdie told me that this week’s episode of Impact Wrestling was going to end with a bang. No, not the return of Diamond Dallas Page. Nope, somebody was getting shot! With a gun!

Wrestling and guns generally don’t go together, but let’s be honest. It’s Impact Wrestling. A company where we’ve seen undead realms, drive-bys, broken universes and all kinds of crazy shit. What’s a shooting other than just another day at the office? Especially involving the cast of characters that were on hand for the wedding between Rosemary & John E. Bravo.

Wrestling weddings always end in disaster, but this was ridiculous.

Tommy Dreamer asked it, and we’ve got to try and answer it. Who shot John E. Bravo? Believe it or not, I have five prime suspects…

5. Johnny Swinger

We all know that the Swing Man is one of the legendary shooters in the business. He was stretching fools from territory to territory while Kenny Shamrock was still in diapers. We also know he wanted to be the best man & was denied the honor, he’s always jealous when he isn’t the center of attention, and he was wearing his trademark fanny pack during the ceremony.

One can easily keep a handgun in a fanny pack is all I’m saying. And I’m guessing security at Impact’s entrance isn’t exactly TSA.

4. Fallah Bahh

He did it for the Rock.

He did it for the people.

No, Fallah Bahh isn’t Samoan. He does wear a sumo outfit, and has generally been a happy go lucky guy, so there is a Rikishi comparison to be had. Most glaringly, he had a bit of a falling-out with Bravo after stooging him off to the next person on our list.

3. Hernandez

The man wants his money. The man thinks Bravo has it. He’s certainly prone to taking extreme actions against people on his bad side. Remember when he, Homicide & Eddie Kingston took out a kid?

There’s nothing this guy isn’t capable of. He’d definitely shoot Bravo, or have one of his cronies do it.

2. Rosemary

She seemed pretty calm about her new husband getting gunned down, didn’t she? If Rosemary didn’t do it herself, I have a pretty good feeling she knows who did. I also have a theory on why it was done. Did you notice during the ceremony how Father James Mitchell kept referencing Bravo’s “virginal” status? We all know how popular virgin blood is for feeding of spirits & various rituals. Perhaps Rosemary (or her friends) have more use for Bravo’s blood than for Bravo himself.

Pretty dark, right? But it’s not like there aren’t people in that ring that would have plenty of use for virgin blood. I think Father Mitchell has at least one glass per evening.

1. Swoggle

I present two key pieces of evidence for why I feel Swoggle has to be considered the prime suspect here.

Exhibit A: Who is Mr. McMahon’s offspring?

Exhibit B: Who is the Anoynomous Raw General Manager?

Whenever we’re wondering who did something, or who is something, it inevitably becomes Swoggle. Hey, it’s not like people were getting shot on Impact before Swoggle showed up! The guy just has a penchant for causing trouble, what can I say?

Who do you think shot John E. Bravo? Let me know on the Twitter or in the comments!

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Opinion

Chris King: Is Brock Lesnar Truly Retired?

Brock Lesnar retired at WWE WrestleMania 42, right? Are we totally sure? Chris King asks…

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Brock Lesnar WWE WrestleMania 42 Retirement

Brock Lesnar retired at WWE WrestleMania 42, right? Are we totally sure? Chris King asks…

At WrestleMania 42, ‘The Beast Incarnate’ Brock Lesnar took off his boots and gloves following his loss to Oba Femi. Lesnar has done it all inside of his twenty-four-year career in professional wrestling. He’s a ten-time WWE Champion and former UFC Heavyweight Champion, and he’s one who ended The Undertaker’s undefeated streak at WrestleMania. 

While Lesnar was in the ring, he was visibly overwhelmed with emotion and crying while he thanked the fans in his own way. The Beast even threw up an x to signal to Paul Heyman, his longtime friend and advocate, that this was not scripted and was real. There had been rumors that Lesnar and Oba were supposed to have a series of matches before everything went down at Mania. 

‘The Career Killer’ Gunther was doing Heyman’s bidding as he faced Seth Rollins for a favor. For a while now since Gunther retired Goldberg, John Cena, and AJ Styles, the rumor has been Gunther was set to retire Lesnar in his hometown at this year’s SummerSlam event. There’s been no confirmation if Lesnar is truly retired, but on this week’s episode of Friday Night SmackDown, we saw Heyman talking with General Manager Nick Aldis. Later that night following Rhodes’ match against the debuting Ricky Saints, Gunther choked out the WWE Champion. Could this be the favor from Heyman? 

I know in the world of professional wrestling we live by the mantra of “never say never,” but what if Lesnar is actually retired and this was WWE’s way of shutting down those rumors about Gunther and Lesnar? What if Gunther’s next program is chasing after the WWE title, and where is Randy Orton at in all of these plans? There are so many questions that need to be answered, hopefully soon!

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Attitude Of Aggression Podcast: The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history) Unidentified History (Ufology) & Game Gone Wrong (Game of Thrones Universe)


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Opinion

Chris King: Defend The Intercontinental Championship At Backlash!

With WWE Backlash upon us, Chris King wants to see Penta defend the Intercontinental Championship in Tampa!

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Penta WWE Intercontinental Championship WrestleMania 42

With WWE Backlash upon us, Chris King wants to see Penta defend the Intercontinental Championship in Tampa!

This year’s annual Backlash showcase is only a few days away, and while there are many big matches announced, one that definitely should be isn’t on the card. In my opinion, outside of Roman Reigns/Jacob Fatu and Seth Rollins/Bron Breakker, the Intercontinental Championship scene has been stellar over the last month. 

Penta has been an excellent champion, especially after his triumphant title defense in a ladder match against JeVon Evans, Rusev, Dragon Lee, and the Hall of Famer Rey Mysterio at WrestleMania 42. Their ladder match at Mania was one of the best that WWE has produced in a while. 

The momentum never stopped, as on the post-Mania episode of Monday Night Raw, ‘All Ego’ Ethan Page made his debut and was quickly inserted into the Intercontinental title scene. Page had a fantastic showing against his longtime NXT rival Evans and picked up a big win in his debut match thanks to an assist from Rusev. 

All Ego immediately joined forces with ‘The Bulgarian Brute’ Rusev, who was also vying for the Intercontinental Title in his own right. On this week’s episode of Raw, Page and Rusev defeated Evans and Penta. All Ego pinned the champion, making a huge statement and putting him one step closer to getting a title shot. For the past few weeks I’ve been anxiously waiting to see if WWE was going to add this incredible fatal four-way match for the Intercontinental Championship, but it hasn’t happened yet. 

As much as the WWE Universe enjoys witnessing great matches on free television, I truly believe all four superstars deserve the chance to showcase their talents on the PLE. While Penta has done a terrific job as the intercontinental champion, it’s time for a fresh face to hold the prestigious title. Page would make a great braggadocious heel that would help elevate the Intercontinental Championship to new heights!

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SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - 30 Mindless Minutes

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast: The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history) Unidentified History (Ufology) & Game Gone Wrong (Game of Thrones Universe)


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