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Mishal: What is Lana?

Mishal explores WWE superstar Lana, how she is booked by the company and perceived by the fans. In short…what even is Lana?

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Lana WWE Survivor Series 2020

Mishal explores WWE superstar Lana, how she is booked by the company and perceived by the fans. In short…what even is Lana?

For the last month or so, I’ve lacked the focus I normally have on professional wrestling.

Admittedly my own fault, sometimes setting into new phases in life, drastic changes or a new chapter takes time away from someone who loves this industry like I do. As a result, my attention on the world of professional wrestling hasn’t been what it usually is, that doesn’t however, mean I’ve not being paying attention. It’s hard to be a hardcore fan of the business & simply switch off you interest on cue, so thankfully the internet partnered with some massive developments has kept me in the loop.

A lot has been happening lately, across the industry as a whole, in fact. Big debuts, a plethora of fantastic matches I could dissect, numerous storyline changes & an idea of what the landscape will look like come 2021. But there has been one thing, one storyline, one character that has caught my eye, for all the wrong reasons.

That singular entity, has been the former manager of ”The Bulgarian Brute” Rusev, ‘wife’ of ”The Almighty” Bobby Lashley, star of E Network’s Total Divas & the WWE’s current top babyface (for some reason) in none other, than Lana.

Lana has been a puzzle I simply cannot solve. She’s a character written like no other I can remember after close to 20 years of watching professional wrestling, which isn’t an exaggeration. At a time where odd is the norm in entertainment in general, Lana stands out as an almost abnormal figure compared to those around her.

Before going on, I’ll acknowledge that 2020 as a whole has been packed to the brim with blunders, from every side of the aisle. While a lot of criticism is levied at WWE all too frequently, maybe even from myself due to the kind of product it currently presents, we should never forget how its competition is certainly not innocent of failing to live up to the potential it had at points. Whether it be AEW’s sometimes overstuffed product which tends to juggle far beyond its capabilities, Impact Wrestling’s ”Wrestle House” or some of their current creative direction, NJPW’s fairly inconsistent year in regards to its booking decisions & even WWE’s other abomination of a storyline involving RETRIBUTION, something about Lana’s direction stands out as particularly mishandled.

And upon reflection I think I’ve figured out why Lana as a character is arguably the biggest blunder wrestling in 2020 has offered.

With a division as jam packed with talent as the current WWE women’s roster, it’s hard to even find a specific talent that is truly superior to the rest. Both the main roster & NXT have a plethora of talent so surreal that it blows my mind when the competition surrounding WWE is still struggling to muster something that comes even close. Names like Sasha Banks, Asuka, Bayley, Bianca Belair, Shayna Baszler, Io Shirai, Rhea Ripley, Natalya, Candice LeRae, Dakota Kai, Ember Moon & Toni Storm aren’t just talented, they cement WWE as the ruling king of women’s wrestling at this current moment. In all that, lies the problem, the expectations that need to be met to compete with the level of talent on offer.

Not to take away from the abilities or hard work that someone like Lana has put in to get to where she is, but to suggest her talents or character are anywhere near the level of the aforementioned women is a tough sell for anyone who has an eye on the product. Lana, to me, feels very much a creation of a product from a decade ago, a talent that certainly carries the image to be appealing on-screen, just lacks what makes the current crop of talent so unique. The product & landscape of the business for women has shifted drastically over the last decade, and sadly it feels like Lana is somewhat of an oddball.

Understandably they’ve written the character to be just that, an oddball. The issue here lies with what kind of oddball character we’re dealing with…

  • Is this supposed to be the kind of oddball with a distinct personality & move set that makes her a threat to the division around her?
  • Is this supposed to be the kind of oddball that is your resident underdog that struggles in the face of adversity or a challenge larger than herself?

The answer is none of the above, in fact not even a blueprint for the type of babyface or oddball character used over the last number of years in professional wrestling. Lana is portrayed as a weak, unskilled worker who’s scared of two much larger ladies currently in Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler, your resident nerd vs high school bully scenario. Where this all falls apart for me, is that Lana just never grows as a performer, whether that be in the ring or as a character.
Lana in short, is portrayed as a child. One that constantly moans, cries and then pulls off ‘‘upset’’ victories after all the hard work has been accomplished for her, much like some of wrestling’s greatest all-time heels (i.e., Randy Orton, Edge, Chris Jericho, Brock Lesnar, etc.). Nothing about Lana is the kind of character that garners support due to her fighting a much larger opponents or tackling gigantic hurdles despite a disadvantage, she’s to put it harshly, a goof who only succeeds because nobody takes her seriously. Never on her own ability, never because of her mindset, never because of a unique character trait, never because she faces a challenge head-on, but because she poses no threat to anyone on the roster.

This kind of writing wouldn’t be the worst thing if it was done in the context of a basic heel, and even then, it delivers a character with few desirable traits for an audience to invest in, placing this model onto a babyface though, has been a disaster. There’s nothing about the Lana character that is in the slightest bit empathetic now that we’ve seen the direction this story is headed. She’s a weak & whiny character that doesn’t possess the prowess that others do, as a result even dragging down those she associates with.

Her reaction to every setback is similar, just cry. It’s always the same, under every circumstance. Her team not taking her seriously at Survivor Series, her being placed through a table 16,211 times by Nia Jax, her not being able to wrestle, her failing her tag team partner in Natalya or even her own ‘husband’ divorcing her, Lana just bawls like an 8-year-old who didn’t get what they wanted for Christmas.

Clearly the handling of the character is a complete misstep from the creative heads of the company, producing a babyface who isn’t even a babyface, she feels more like a nuisance every week she’s on TV.

Understandably molding every character after a certain formula isn’t always desirable, as sometimes drifting away from that formula gives off incredible results, yet with Lana we see no element of a normal ‘‘good guy’’ on display. Her character lacks that ‘‘babyface fire’’, a likeable personality, in-ring ability or even the willingness to do anything that makes her peers such standouts in a crowded division. The only distinct ability Lana as a character holds is to re-affirm the simple message; ‘‘No matter how useless you may be someone else will always do the leg work for you’’.
As a babyface of any kind, this just isn’t the vibe a character should give off. Simply put.

A babyface, a star who is in anyway worthy of support from an audience needs to have a quality that is either admirable or relatable to those you’re trying to bring onboard. Sadly, Lana possesses basically no quality that makes her likeable to any fan of the WWE product. How this storyline is translating to anyone is baffling to me, because it feels like your resident ‘nerd vs bully’ storyline just without any real incentive to root for either side of the spectrum. If anything, I find myself rooting more for the bully, the very opposite of what a story like this should accomplish.
I understand that all of this comes across fairly harsh, as it’s somewhat intended to.

But all of this brings me back to the title of this article: What is Lana?

That question, I’m still waiting on an answer from.

It’s entirely unclear what Lana is as of this writing, to myself at least. We’re constantly beaten over the head with the fact that Lana is this gigantic ‘‘underdog’’ who is being pushed around by two women larger than her, but what reason do we have to back Lana up beyond the size comparison?

With WWE currently writing many of the wrongs that started off their year with some genuinely fantastic storytelling (e.g., Virtually everything involving Roman Reigns, Drew McIntyre becoming a top guy, Sasha Banks and Carmella’s feud, etc.) this is a story that sticks out in the worst way possible. Acting as a complete betrayal of the kind of stories that have the genuine potential to establish new stars at a time when we need as many as we can get. And that’s what I find the most insulting, the sheer obliviousness to how terrible this story has been to this point.

As we draw closer to the return of live audiences it’s a mystery to know just how they’ll react once a story like this unfolds outside the setting of staged crowd noises or screens with faces on them. For the sake of RAW’s ladies, I hope the pain of this storyline takes a turn sooner rather than later because it desperately needs it.

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Opinion

Chris King: Is Brock Lesnar Truly Retired?

Brock Lesnar retired at WWE WrestleMania 42, right? Are we totally sure? Chris King asks…

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Brock Lesnar WWE WrestleMania 42 Retirement

Brock Lesnar retired at WWE WrestleMania 42, right? Are we totally sure? Chris King asks…

At WrestleMania 42, ‘The Beast Incarnate’ Brock Lesnar took off his boots and gloves following his loss to Oba Femi. Lesnar has done it all inside of his twenty-four-year career in professional wrestling. He’s a ten-time WWE Champion and former UFC Heavyweight Champion, and he’s one who ended The Undertaker’s undefeated streak at WrestleMania. 

While Lesnar was in the ring, he was visibly overwhelmed with emotion and crying while he thanked the fans in his own way. The Beast even threw up an x to signal to Paul Heyman, his longtime friend and advocate, that this was not scripted and was real. There had been rumors that Lesnar and Oba were supposed to have a series of matches before everything went down at Mania. 

‘The Career Killer’ Gunther was doing Heyman’s bidding as he faced Seth Rollins for a favor. For a while now since Gunther retired Goldberg, John Cena, and AJ Styles, the rumor has been Gunther was set to retire Lesnar in his hometown at this year’s SummerSlam event. There’s been no confirmation if Lesnar is truly retired, but on this week’s episode of Friday Night SmackDown, we saw Heyman talking with General Manager Nick Aldis. Later that night following Rhodes’ match against the debuting Ricky Saints, Gunther choked out the WWE Champion. Could this be the favor from Heyman? 

I know in the world of professional wrestling we live by the mantra of “never say never,” but what if Lesnar is actually retired and this was WWE’s way of shutting down those rumors about Gunther and Lesnar? What if Gunther’s next program is chasing after the WWE title, and where is Randy Orton at in all of these plans? There are so many questions that need to be answered, hopefully soon!

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Opinion

Chris King: Defend The Intercontinental Championship At Backlash!

With WWE Backlash upon us, Chris King wants to see Penta defend the Intercontinental Championship in Tampa!

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Penta WWE Intercontinental Championship WrestleMania 42

With WWE Backlash upon us, Chris King wants to see Penta defend the Intercontinental Championship in Tampa!

This year’s annual Backlash showcase is only a few days away, and while there are many big matches announced, one that definitely should be isn’t on the card. In my opinion, outside of Roman Reigns/Jacob Fatu and Seth Rollins/Bron Breakker, the Intercontinental Championship scene has been stellar over the last month. 

Penta has been an excellent champion, especially after his triumphant title defense in a ladder match against JeVon Evans, Rusev, Dragon Lee, and the Hall of Famer Rey Mysterio at WrestleMania 42. Their ladder match at Mania was one of the best that WWE has produced in a while. 

The momentum never stopped, as on the post-Mania episode of Monday Night Raw, ‘All Ego’ Ethan Page made his debut and was quickly inserted into the Intercontinental title scene. Page had a fantastic showing against his longtime NXT rival Evans and picked up a big win in his debut match thanks to an assist from Rusev. 

All Ego immediately joined forces with ‘The Bulgarian Brute’ Rusev, who was also vying for the Intercontinental Title in his own right. On this week’s episode of Raw, Page and Rusev defeated Evans and Penta. All Ego pinned the champion, making a huge statement and putting him one step closer to getting a title shot. For the past few weeks I’ve been anxiously waiting to see if WWE was going to add this incredible fatal four-way match for the Intercontinental Championship, but it hasn’t happened yet. 

As much as the WWE Universe enjoys witnessing great matches on free television, I truly believe all four superstars deserve the chance to showcase their talents on the PLE. While Penta has done a terrific job as the intercontinental champion, it’s time for a fresh face to hold the prestigious title. Page would make a great braggadocious heel that would help elevate the Intercontinental Championship to new heights!

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SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - 30 Mindless Minutes

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Attitude Of Aggression Podcast: The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history) Unidentified History (Ufology) & Game Gone Wrong (Game of Thrones Universe)


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